There's this German ballet company and Tilda Swinton runs it, so you know something weird's underway. Tilda is the head of a witches' coven. They dance, and worship Lucifer. Dakota Johnson arrives, and we worry for her safety until the plot twists. "Suspiria" slaps some other plot lines on us, including terrorism, the Holocaust, and a Mennonite woman who fears her daughter. "Suspiria" has two major scenes. In one, a disgraced dancer breaks her arms and legs during a modern dance and winds up looking like a rag doll. The other is full-scale, all-nude, blood-covered devil worship. "Suspiria" runs too long, has too many plots, and feels silly. Director Luca Guadagnino has long wanted to remake the original, a 1977 far-out freak show. He has made some wonderful films including "Call Me By Your Name" and "A Bigger Splash," but "Suspiria" is not one of them. "Suspiria," 1 star, rated "R." Does it deliver what it promises? Not even close. Is it entertaining? Long, boring and weird. Is it worth the price of admission? Skip it.
